One of the hardest things I have found about writing down memories is where to begin. I know that sounds ignorant, hell, just start at the beginning. I just don't think that's the way to do it. Storytelling is about the time, the place, the situation. That's what makes makes a good tale even more special. Sometimes it seems like folks are trying to "one up" each other with stories. When I start to see that happening, I just shut up and listen...and observe. That's one thing that I have gotten fairly good at over the years, observing.
According to the definition, observing is:
ob·serve(əb-zûrv′)
v.ob·served, ob·serv·ing, ob·serves
v.tr.
1. To be or become aware of, especially through careful and directed attention; notice.
2. To watch attentively: observe a child's behavior.
3. To make a systematic or scientific observation of: observe the orbit of the moon.
4. To say casually; remark.
5. To adhere to or abide by: observe the terms of a contract.
6. To keep or celebrate (a holiday, for example): observe an anniversary.
v.intr.
1. To take notice.
2. To say something; make a comment or remark.
3. To watch or be present without participating actively: We were invited to the conference solely to observe.
I have observed a lot, and I'm positive that a lot of people have observed me. At my best and worst. As I have them. When you try to convey those observations into print without the subtext of the "setup" it can be hard. The words do not carry the same resonance as it would sitting around and shooting the sh*t and then seeing a teen with his drawers hanging down. There could be memories told for hours after witnessing that. I guess that's like being a stand-up comedian. It's all about timing. And feeding off the crowds reaction.
I have sort of a list I've compiled in my head of topics I'd like to cover. They are in no particular order, or relevance to each other. They won't make much sense at this point unless you can identify the topic yourself...because you were a participant. I feel like I need to list these to start the structure of, well, I guess my life so far.
Family Gatherings
The Cliffs
The Mad Butcher
Klipsch
Jimmy and the Bicycle
Planet of the Apes
Driving the Trash to the Dumpster
Stealing Apples
My Grandma's Pets
Beer on the Back Porch at Grandpa's
My Cousin's Friend From Scotland
Football
Dating a Cheerleader and Getting My Eye Dotted
G/T
Standing on the Porch for Hours After Dark
Basic Training
The Boat Wreck
The '69 Camaro at the Lake
The Horse Farm
The Twin Cinema
Sorghum and a B/W TV
My Brother
How I Met Your Mother
Selling Acetylene to a Person Driving a Car
Straw Market in the Bahamas
Car Wrecks
Mayo
Sickness
Passed Out in the Piggly Wiggly Parking Lot
The Lake/River
THE Ice Storm
Pong,Atari, etc.
Arkadelphia
"Mobile Phones"
The Red Barn
My Dad and Mom
How Far I Got With Each Girl *(I'm just kidding)
There are a lot more. It's hard to just sit down and start typing about someones life.
I'm not sure there is any other place in the world where I feel more comfortable. Some would say it's because I was born and raised here. I don't think so. I've seen people who moved to here and they have commented on the fact that life is so much simpler. So much more laid back (except during Christmas). They "know" where they are. Then I remind them they're at The Wal-Mart.
Here's a few things that I believe are true:
Growing up Southern is a privilege, really. It's more than where you're born,
it's an idea and state of mind that seems imparted at birth. It's more
than loving fried chicken, sweet tea, and football. It's
being hospitable, devoted to front porches, magnolias, moon pies and
coca-cola... and each other. In the South, the
breeze blows softer... neighbors are friendlier, nosier, and more talkative. Our way of thinking is
different, as are our ways of seeing, laughing, singing, eating,
meeting, and partying. Our walk is different. Nothing about us is quite the same as in the
country to the north and west. What we carry in our memories is
different, too and that may explain everything else. Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy...If something intolerable
simply cannot be changed, driven away or shot they will not only
tolerate it but take pride in it as well. The biggest myth about Southern women
is that that they are frail types--fainting on their sofas. Nobody where I
grew up every acted like that. They were about as fragile as log
trucks. Snow in the South is wonderful. It has a kind of magic and mystery that it has
nowhere else. And the reason for this is that it comes to people in
the South not as the grim, unyielding tenant of Winter's keep, but as
a strange and wild visitor from the North. South Arkansas folks know their religion. Baptist, Methodist, Football.
South Arkansas women knows full and well that she can open a door for
herself but prefers for the gentleman to do it because it demonstrates
a sense of respect. After all, every girl wants to be treated like a
princess. They know how to make fried baloney and chicken fried steaks while telling you everything
about any football team in the SEC. They pick their battles and fight with
the heart of a pit bull while still maintaining grace and elegance.
Their mystique is that of a soft-spoken, mild-mannered southern bell who could
direct an army, loves her momma and will always be daddy's little girl.
South Arkansas men are playful, silly, and downright funny. You'll never meet another man
who takes his manhood as seriously, and who can do all sorts of very manly things that you've never seen before
like hunt a wild hog and gut it before your very eyes, build a house, grill a
deer, and have time to wipe the sweat off their burly chests to give you some
proper loving. They are some of the most manly men that our country has to
offer. (yeah, I couldn't resist the burly chest and proper loving reference)
Most South Arkansas boys were raised by sensible women and had a
manly daddy. They are extremely polite and kind. Now let's get on the subject of South Arkansas men. We'll get back to the women in a minute. There seems to be a dilution of what we are. I don't know if it's because of folks moving here from other areas, or the lack of a strong mother/father presence, or what, but I'm starting to see a "chink" in the armor. I know the way I was brought up. I think we are not imposing these same thoughts into our younger generation like the way it was on us. It should be and go without saying, but maybe it needs to be said and demanded. "Southern Men, regardless of class or race, are well
dressed. That being said, they don't have have the swarthy coolness of New
Yorkers (gag) or the funky fun types that the North has to offer (hurl), but they will look
nice, clean and respectable". I saw this on some internet site. I will be "old fashioned" and treat you as if you're made of
glass and don't have a muscle in your arms or legs. I will open doors,
smile at everything you say, pull out your chair, and get up if you get up from your
chair.
South Arkansas Men should be charming to a fault. Why is that so hard? Here are a few things that we as South Arkansas men don't particularly care for in relation to our lady friends: Don't Spray Tan - We live in the South, if you cannot tan effectively, then for goodness sake go pale and do not walk around looking like Snooki. No Caked On Makeup - Newsflash: if he's really into you he doesn't want you wearing a lot of makeup. Natural skin is better so give up the pageant face. No Red Lips - Most men cannot stand red lips. Whoever perpetuated this beauty trend must be a woman, because just like foundation when it comes to lips men like a more natural look. Don't Dis His Family - South Arkansas men love their moms and they are very protective of their family. Have respect for him and his family to not put them down. Family is something that should be important because it is a gift to have a loving family. Building a family of one's own is also important and deserves the same respect. Don't Wear False Eyelashes Forget The Queen B Attitude - South Arkansas men love strong women, they were most likely bred by one, but strong doesn't mean acting like a Queen 'B'. Keep The Volume Down, He Doesn't Want A Girl Who Takes It To 11 - Men are well aware you can scream, yell, and shriek. South Arkansas men like soft voices. Not soft as in a whisper, but just a pleasant, calming voice that doesn't have to achieve a decibel above a fire engine to get attention or make a point. Stop Talking About Your Weight - We Love You. Hell, we ain't no beauty either. You're just stressing yourself out even more. Don't Get Your Feelings Hurt All The Time - A woman who always finds herself getting her feelings hurt isn't a sweet, sensitive girl - she's selfish. South Arkansas men say 'grow up', learn to have some grit, and realize that not everything is about you. Sometimes a man is going to want to do something you do not want to do and sometimes he's not going to consider your feelings before doing something he wants to do - it doesn't mean he doesn't love you and care for you. Stop With The Gossip - He doesn't find it cool that you sit around talking badly about other women, in fact he most likely looks at you like you are jealous and mean. I'm sure you ladies have a laundry list of things you do not like about your men. Laundry is probably one of them. Next: I'm done with generalities. Time for some storytelling...Time to hide the small animals.
It's really interesting to try and break down Southern speech into something you can put in print. Even after having lived in the South my entire life (so far), when I write out a word or phrase using the Southern vernacular, I have to say it aloud a few times to make sure I've got it. It can look really weird written down.
Here are a few examples:
JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?
YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?
TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.
JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother
got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
Of course no list would be complete without the Southern sayings. Southerners can paint a picture like no one else when describing a situation. As I've been told Southern-speak is really a work of art. I figure it's because we talk so slow we have to make every word count. Sometimes one word can count as a phrase. This is by no means an all-inclusive list. There are probably as many Southern phrases as a dog has fleas!
Can’t carry a tune in a bucket – to be unable to sing at all
Colder than a witch’s tit (in a brass bra in January) – the bit in parentheses simply adds some extra color to an already off-color (but quite effective) description of the weather
Colder than a well diggers ass - another description of weather
Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down – if someone is unbelievably unattractive, looking as though they’ve been hit with several ugly sticks, this is the proper way to express that ugliness
Granny-slappin’ good (so good, it makes you want to slap your granny) – very good, usually delicious
Gussied up – cleaned up and dressed very nicely (perhaps formally)
A hankerin’ for – a desire/craving for
Happy as a puppy with two peckers/peters – very happy
High cotton – wealthy; successful (and maybe snobby)
Hotter than a goat’s butt in a pepper patch – very hot
How-do – shortened form of “How do you do?”
If I had my druthers – if I had my way/my preference
Knee-high to a grasshopper – very young and small, as in, “The last time I saw you, you were knee-high to a grasshopper, and look how grown-up you are now!”
Like herding cats – anything that is difficult to do, but especially anything that requires organizing difficult people (like small children)
Piddly/piddlin’ – a small amount (negative connotation)
Poop or get off the pot – make a decision and take action
Right – very (often surprisingly); an adverb usually used to modify adjectives, as in, “You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he’s a right good ball player.”
Rubber-neck – to drive slowly so as to get a good look at a wreck or disabled vehicle on the side of the road. Those who rubber-neck are rubber-neckers.
Skedaddle – to leave hurriedly
Snug as a bug (in a rug) – very comfortable
(to) Think one’s s*** don’t stink – to think too highly of oneself
Tore up – broken/destroyed, as in, “I came home to find the curtains all tore up,” or, “My knee has been tore up since that skiing accident back in ’93.”
Uppity – snobby
Used to could – used to be able to, as in, “I can’t do a cartwheel any more, but I used to could.”
Useless as tits on a boar hog – utterly useless
Dreckly: Soon. "He'll be along dreckly."
Everhoo: Another baffling Southernism - a reverse contraction of whoever." Everhoo one of you kids wants to go to the movie better clean up their room."
Fetchin': Attractive. "That's a mighty fetchin' woman. Think I'll ask her to daints."
Fummeer: A place other than one's present location. "Where do we go fummeer?"
Got a good notion: A statement of intent. "Ah got a good notion to cut a switch and whale the far out of that boy."
Hush yo' mouth: An expression of pleased embarrassment, as when a Southern female is paid an extravagant compliment. "Honey, you're 'bout the sweetest, best-lookin' woman in Arkansas. Now hush yo' mouth, Jim Bob."
Ill: Angry, testy. "What's wrong with Molly today? She's ill as a hornet."
Jack-leg: Self taught, especially in reference to automobile mechanics and clergy-men. "He's just a jack-leg preacher, but he sure knows how to put out the hellfire and brimstone."
Kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on: A colorful Southern expression used as as evaluation of someone's ability to accomplish something. "He ain't got no more chance than a kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on."
Layin' up: Resting or meditating. Or as Southern women usually put it, loafing. "Cecil didn't go to work today 'cause of a chronic case of laziness. He's been layin' up in the house all day, drivin' me crazy."
Let alone: Much less. "He can't even hold a job and support himself, let alone support a family."
Let out: Dismissed. "What time does school let out?"
Mind to: To have the intention of doing something. "Ah got a mind to quit my job and just loaf for a while."
Nekkid: To be unclothed. "Did you see her in that movie? She was nekkid as a jaybird." (Note: Has any one ever actually saw a jaybird nude?)
Of a moanin: Of a morning, meaning in the morning. "My daddy always liked his coffee of a moanin."
Ownliest: The only one. "That's the ownliest one Ah've got left."
Raut: A method of getting from one place to another which Southerners pronounce to rhyme with "kraut". Yankees, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, pronounce "route" to rhyme with "root". Or worse still, "foot."
Restrunt: A place to eat. "New Yorker's got a lot of good restrunts."
Shainteer: Indicates the absence of a female. "Is the lady of the house in?" "Nope. Shainteer."
Shudenoughta: Should not. "You shudenoughta have another drink."
Take on: To behave in a highly emotional manner. "Don't take on like that, Brenda Sue. He's not the only man in Lee County."
That ole dawg won't hunt no more: That will not work. "You want to borrow $20 when you still owe me fifty? That ole dawg won't hunt no more."
Wear out: An expression used to describe a highly-effective method of behavior modification in children. "When Ah get ahold of that boy, Ah'm gonna wear him out."
Wender: A glass-covered opening in a wawl. "Open that wender, It's too hot in here."
Let down/up: Used in conjuction with Wender to indicate raising or lowering of a window.
Fell out: Surprise or dismay. " I got to the house and it was all cleaned up. I about fell out!"
Hotter than two foxes f*#&ing in a wool sock: Description of extremely warm weather.
Grinning like a possum eating grapes: For a scavenger accustomed to a diet of bugs, slugs, and roadkill, having juicy grapes to gorge on is like winning the lottery.
She was madder than a wet hen: Hens sometimes enter a phase of “broodiness” — they'll stop at nothing to incubate their eggs and get agitated when farmers try to collect them. Farmers used to dunk hens in cold water to “break” their broodiness.
He could eat corn through a picket fence: This describes someone with an unfortunate set of buck teeth.
These don't really need any explanation ( I don't think):
Busier than a cat trying to cover crap on concrete.
He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
She could start an argument in an empty house.
He'd argue with a fence post he put up himself.
He's as windy as a sack full of farts.
I'm sweatin' like a whore in church.
He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
He's so full of sh-- his eyes are brown.
He don't know his ass from a hole in the ground.
He ain't got the good sense God gave a goose.
He didn't know whether to sh-- or go blind.
That stinks so bad it could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.
Put wishes in one hand and sh-- in the other and see which one fills up first.
He doesn't know whether to check his ass or scratch his watch.
I gotta piss so bad my eyeballs are floatin'.
He's about as useless as a bent d--- dog.
He couldn't find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight.
I'm busier than a 2-dollar whore on nickel night.
He's crazier than a sh--house rat. (If you ever have the misfortune of meeting a rat who lives in an outhouse, you'll immediately understand this one.)
She's hot as a 2 dollar pistol.
He's slicker than snot on a glass door knob.
He could fall into a barrel of sh-- and come out smelling like roses. Me on the other hand, I could fall into a barrel of ti--ies and come out suckin' my thumb.
She's got her panties in a wad.
He's meaner than a one-eyed snake.
He's lower than a whale turd.
I'm so poor I can't afford to pay attention.
Quieter than a church mouse peeing on a cotton ball.
He's so tight he squeaks when he walks.
Those pants are so tight...I could see her religion.
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
It’s drier than a popcorn fart.
Won't hit a lick at a snake.
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!
If his lips's movin', he's lyin'.
If that boy had an idea it would die of loneliness.
The porch light's on, but no one's home.
His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.
He don't know s**t from shinola.
As you can see there are Southern expressions for every occasion. Whatever the situation, there is something to describe it in a way only us folks from the South can. This by no means even close to a complete list. Everyone has certain ones they've heard that is not included here. This is just a "smidgen".
I have to include these videos in this section. Southern ladies have their own set of phrases, that when said by a Southern lady, ex hues an ambiance unlike any other.
I have tried and put together words and phrases I've heard thoughout my life that are specifically southern. I've included a definition to each so the word/phrase can be understood by folks that "ain't from around here".
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! - "Sorry. Not really a phrase but very Southern."
I've tried to put these in alphabetical order. Kinda' like a dictionary of southern speak.
Aggervatin - a. Bothersome, upsetting. Etymology:"make worse": My dawg jes won't point and dats so aggervatin
Ain't - v. cont Contraction of "am not." Not really a Southern contribution but usually attributed to them. The problem is not the word, but the use of the word to replace "isn't" and "aren't".
Air up - v. Put air in, "I stopped at d'fillin station to air up my tars."
Any count- n. Of any value: Is attur fried chicken yall's eatin any count?
Awfully - adv. Substitute for very, which can't be used south of the Mason-Dixon line. Very is avoided in the South.
Bag - n. A milk container with four spigots that hangs under the rear end of a cow. Also a cantankerous old female.
Bard - v. Past tense of borry, as in "My brother bard my pickup truck in never brung it back."
Be-ins - conj. Since, if, so long as: "Be-ins yore a-goin' to duh kitchen, why donchoo git me a glass a warter, too?"
Biddy - n. Baby chicken or a middle-aged female human, as in "old biddy".
Bidnis - n. What you get down to or stay out of other people's, as in, "That ain't none a yore dad-burned bidnis!" (Southerners don't like "s" before "n").
Bless yore heart! - int. A nice expletive expressing approval, encouragement, or to soften a subtle jab. ( I'll get more into this later)
Bob war - n. A twisted wire studded with barbs. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that-air bob war fence!"
Borry - v. (past tense: bard) To take something with the full intention of returning it someday or t'other.
Booger man - n. Something or somebody that'll gitcha.
Britches - n. Pert much anything worn over the legs: pants, trousers.
Bumfuzzle - v. To confuse, puzzle, or stump, as in "I don't know how that beer cap got in d'carburator; hit's got me plumb bumfuzzled."
Caint - v. aux. Can not.
Carry on - v. Overdo your actions or make a lot of fuss, as in, "Yall young'ns stop a-carryin on so; we cain't hear each other talk."
Catty-corner(ed) - a. Diagonal.
Cattywampus - a. Askew, awry; not straight.
Chicken fried steak - n. A steak dipped in batter like chicken then fried until crisp. Some cooks will then smother it in gravy to hide the evidence. (Try to go up north and order one)
Chinchy - a. Real stingy, as in, "That Roscoe's the chinchiest sonnovagun I ever seen."
Chunk - v. To throw, thoe, or toss, as in, "Hey, boy! Chunk me a chunk of at-ere wood you got dere.
Citify - v. To take the country out of the boy; said by some to be impossible.
Co-Cola - n. The most famous of the cold dranks. (Coca whut?)
Collards - n. A leafy vegetable high in iron and, when cooking, odors.
Conniption - n. A major fit, total loss of control of one's temper; you pitch a conniption (hissy).
Coot - n. As in "old coot"; a person over 60 years of age.
Critter - n. Creature, with special preference for animals.
Cut on/off - v. Turn on/off: "Cut off d'lights when you leaves d'room.
Cut up - v. Show off, as in, "Now don't you young'ns cut up in church today; do you hear?
Dang - part. Emphasizes almost anything you want it to: "Git your dang hands off my sledge hammer!
Dat-air - Away from me, as in, "Gimme dat-air munky ranch."
Differnt - a. Not the same, different.
Dinner - n. The meal et around the middle of the day. (My wife has a real problem with this)
Dihyeer - n.Near-by, near me: "Take a look as dis-hyeer munky ranch I just bought me."
Dissermember - v. Antonym of "member," to forget: "I planned to stop for a mess of butterbeans but I plum dissermembered."
Doohickey - n. A Southern thingamabob.
Druther - v. aux. To prefer, as in, "I druther watch The Wheel; how abou chew?"
Et - v. past tense. The past tense of eat.
Ever - a. Quicker form of every. Everbody.
Eye-talian - n. Fokes from Itly. (For my wife)
Fetch - v. Go, get, and bring back.
Fix - n. A mess, trouble: "Sally May has really got herself in a fix, now!"
Fixin - v. aux. Getting ready to: "I'm fixin to leave."
Fixins - n. What is needed to prepare a dish.
Fokes - n. People
For crying out loud! - Well, I'll be darned!
Frazzle - v. Wear out, fatigue, especially the nerves. "His nerves have been frazzled ever since his finger got caught in the car door."
Frizzle - a. Messed up, uncontrollable, as the frizzly hair.
Fur piece- n. A long way, a great distance.
Gallivant - v. Travel widely, ignoring one's responsibilities, "Emma Mae, whir've yew been a-gallivantin all day?"
Give out - adj.Exhausted, tard, tuckered out, as coming home from plowing 40 acres plumb give out.
Goober pea - n. Peanut
Gone - v. Completely finished doing it: "Billy Rae's done gone et the last piece o' fried chicken, mama?
Gosh dang it! - int. Yet another expression of surprise or frustration.
Goodness gracious! - int. An expression of surprise you can use in front of your mother.
Goozle - n. That funny little punching bag in the back of your throat.
Grits - n. Do you have to ask?
Gubmint - n. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
Hafta - v. aux. Modal auxiliary indicating obligation. (Must is a word not found in most Southern dialects).
Haint - n. (1) A supernatural spirit that means living fokes no good.
Heap - quan. A lot. "But dahlin, don't hit me; I loves you a whole heap."
Heidi - greet. As in "Heidi doo!" Simpler (and faster) way to put "How do you do". The exact date when the Germans borrowed it from Southernese remains obscure.
High-falutin - a. Extremely fancy.
Hire yew - greet. Variant of "Heidi doo!" used to divine the current state of the listener. In fact the two phrases may be combined as in, "Heidi, hire yew?
Hissy - n. A minor fit, slight loss of control of one's temper (conniption); you pitch a hissy or hissy fit.
Holler- n. A small valley ("They live down dere in Coon Holler").
Holler - v. Talk at the top of your voice.
Holt - a. In your hand: "If'n I gits holt of a shotgun, you'll shore change yore tune!"
Hoot 'na holler - n. A short distance: "Why he lives just a hoot 'na holler from hyere."
Hot damn - int. An especially good damn, as in a hot sale or a hot deal.
Howdy - int. Short for 'howdy do', a common greeting down South.
Ida Claire - int. The saint Southerners turn to in moments of surprise: "Well, Ida Claire! If that don't beat all!
Idnit? - Same problem as with bidnis—them "s's" before "n" again.
If that don't beat all! - A phrase expressing surprise.
If'n - conj. Variation of "if". (Southerners love their new suffix, -n, so much, they stick it everywhere. See young'n and his'n.
Ignert - a. Not smart.
Jawl - subj-pred. Contraction of "Did yall", as in: "Jawl know whir I can git some cornbread 'n grits dis time a night?"
Kick up a ruckus - verb phrase. Cause a commotion.
Kilt - a.Past tense of kill: He kilt hisself a bar in dem dere woods.
Kin to - a. Related to (someone)
Lick - n. The smallest amount. "At-ere dawg o'mine, he ain't got a lick o'sense."
Liddle-biddy - n. About the same size as a lick, very small: "Where'd you git at-ere liddle-biddy hammer o'yorn?
Light bread - n. Store-bought white bread, as opposed to corn bread and biscuits (= real bread).
Looky hyeer! - v. Emphatic variant of "Looky." "Looky hyeer" and "Look a-here" are purt near the same.
Lord a'mercy! - inter. What you say when thangs get outta control.
Mash - . (1) Push (a button). (2) Squush up, as in "mash 'taters".
Mawnin - n. The early part of the day.
Member - v. Remember
Meer - n. A glass you see your relection in.
Might could - v. aux. Might be able to.
Nairy - quan. Not one, none: "They ain't nairy (a) one in the house."
No count - a. Worthless
Okry - n. A poddy vegetable that cooks up slimy but delicious if you cook it up with a slice of bacon.
On - v. aux. Future tense marker, as in "I'm on gichu!"
Ornery - a. Mean, hard to get along with.
Outta kilter - a. (1) Crooked. (2) Not working properly.
Pester - v. Act like a pest: annoy, persistently bother.
Pile - quan. A lot (of), as in "Everthang you sed is a pile a crap, Lonnie Sue!"
Pistol - n. (1) Someone who is really good: "She's a pistol when it comes to churnin butter."
Plain - a. Somewhat ugly, e.g. "She's a plain girl."
Play Possum - v. Act like you're asleepin or pretend in general.
Plumb - adv. Completely: "Are you plumb crazy?"
Polecat - n. (1) Skunk. (2) A really bad person.
Pooch (out) - v. Stick out: "Why yore lips pooched out like that, honey?"
Puny - a. Weak, sickly, as in "Thank ah'll stay home; ah feel a little puny today."
Purdy, Purt - a. Attractive, as in, "She's downright purdy." Fairly, "Hey, that came purt near hittin me!"
Reckon - v. Think, figger.
Recollect - v. Remember
Rye-cheer - adv. Very close to the speaker, as in, "Why don chu build yore still rye-chere under the porch, Donnie Lou?"
Rile - v. Stir something or someone up.
Ruckus - n. A loud noise or anything that makes one.
Saerdy - n. The sixth day of the week.
Sass - n. Talk back insolently: "Don't sass me, young man; I'll tell yore daddy on you!"
Seeins how - v. Since, it being the case, as in, "Well, I ain't fixin' your supper no more, Willy Joe, seeins how we's divorced now an all."
Seen - v. Some people use this as the past tense of to see: "I seen him over yonder this mawnin."
Septin - prep. With the exception of, as in, "Everbody ate his collards septin Rachael Ann."
Shed - n. Rid, as in, "I just cain't git shed of this hyere cold."
Shore - a. Positive, as in "Are you shore you know whir we are?" Shore doo
Show - n. Short for "picher show", a motion picture.
Sichy-ayshun - n. A perdicament or whatnot: "How'n duh Sam Hill did you ever gicherself in a sichy-ayshun whirr duh fish er a-bitin' an' you ain't got no pole."
Smack (dab) - a. Precisely, as in "smack dab in the middle."
Someone - pro. Doesn't exist in real Southern. You can only say somebody, anybody.)
Sorry - a. No good, as in, "Ain't he 'bout sorry?!"
Spell - n. (1) A while, a stretch of time. (2) Trying to get the letters of a word in the right order. (It hain't easy.)
Squall - v.To cry at the top of your lungs, as in a roomful of squallin' younguns.
Stob - v. Something sticking up from the ground. Stub -Accidentally hitting your toe on something sticking up from the ground.
The Sticks - n. Far from civilization; way out in the backwoods.
Sump'n - n. Something.
Sump'n teet -n. Food: "I hain't had sump'n teet since dinner.".
Sugar - n. As in "Gimme some sugar": affection, a chance to snuggle your neck, huggin' or kissin' or both.
Supper - n. The meal (supposed to be) et around 5 o'clock.
Tarred - n. Tuckered out, exhausted, fatigued as to come home from work too tarred to hold a fork.
Tater - n. The potato.
Tawk - v. To communicate using language.
Thang - n. Any object, concrete or otherwise.
Them - pro. Those. "Jimmy John, where in the world did you git them pants?"
Thoe - n. To chunk, toss. Very similar to throw without the R.
Toad - v. Past tense of "tell", as in "I toad you so!"
Tore-down - a. In less than optimal condition.
Tore Nader - n. A strong, spinning wind that stirs things up considerably.
Tote - v. Carry
Tow sack - a. Burlap bag.
Tucker out - v. Exhaust, fatigue, as to be plumb tuckered out from cleaning fish.
Tune up - v. Start crying. "When Ginny Mae didn't git any candy, she tuned up and gave out a squall they heard in Kalamazoo."
Turn loose - v. Release oneself to wild abandon. "He turned loose and cut a jig right air in d'livin room!"
Uppin - v. aux. To do something suddenly or unexpectedly: "I toad him we's havin liver fer dinner and he uppin left."
Upside - adv. On the side of, as in, "When Andy toad her how ugly she wuz, she hittim upside da haid widda fryin pan."
Vetern - n. Somebody who fought in a war and came back home.
View - v. cont. A phrase used to find out it someone else has done something, as in "I hain't never seed New York City, view?"
Vittles - n. Anything worth eating.
Yahoo - n. A ignert hayseed from the sticks.
Yall - pro. The plural of you. (You didn't think I'd forget this one, did you?)
Yonder - adv. (over here, over there, over yonder)
Young 'un - n. A young thang, a baby.
Yousta - adv. An adverb indicating past frequentative activity, as in, "I yousta smoke."
And there you have it. I love being from the South. I love speaking the language. Understanding it and, hopefully translating parts of it, for all you other heathens...
