Words and Phrases From the South - Part 2

It's really interesting to try and break down Southern speech into something you can put in print. Even after having lived in the South my entire life (so far), when I write out a word or phrase using the Southern vernacular, I have to say it aloud a few times to make sure I've got it. It can look really weird written down.

Here are a few examples:

JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?
YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?
TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.
JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?


Of course no list would be complete without the Southern sayings. Southerners can paint a picture like no one else when describing a situation. As I've been told Southern-speak is really a work of art. I figure it's because we talk so slow we have to make every word count. Sometimes one word can count as a phrase. This is by no means an all-inclusive list. There are probably as many Southern phrases as a dog has fleas!

Can’t carry a tune in a bucket – to be unable to sing at all

Colder than a witch’s tit (in a brass bra in January) – the bit in parentheses simply adds some extra color to an already off-color (but quite effective) description of the weather

Colder than a well diggers ass - another description of weather

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down – if someone is unbelievably unattractive, looking as though they’ve been hit with several ugly sticks, this is the proper way to express that ugliness

Granny-slappin’ good (so good, it makes you want to slap your granny) – very good, usually delicious

Gussied up – cleaned up and dressed very nicely (perhaps formally)
A hankerin’ for – a desire/craving for

Happy as a puppy with two peckers/peters – very happy

High cotton – wealthy; successful (and maybe snobby)

Hotter than a goat’s butt in a pepper patch – very hot

How-do – shortened form of “How do you do?”

If I had my druthers – if I had my way/my preference

Knee-high to a grasshopper – very young and small, as in, “The last time I saw you, you were knee-high to a grasshopper, and look how grown-up you are now!”

Like herding cats – anything that is difficult to do, but especially anything that requires organizing difficult people (like small children)

Piddly/piddlin’ – a small amount (negative connotation)

Poop or get off the pot – make a decision and take action

Right – very (often surprisingly); an adverb usually used to modify adjectives, as in, “You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he’s a right good ball player.”

Rubber-neck – to drive slowly so as to get a good look at a wreck or disabled vehicle on the side of the road. Those who rubber-neck are rubber-neckers.

Skedaddle – to leave hurriedly

Snug as a bug (in a rug) – very comfortable

(to) Think one’s s*** don’t stink – to think too highly of oneself

Tore up – broken/destroyed, as in, “I came home to find the curtains all tore up,” or, “My knee has been tore up since that skiing accident back in ’93.”

Uppity – snobby

Used to could – used to be able to, as in, “I can’t do a cartwheel any more, but I used to could.”

Useless as tits on a boar hog – utterly useless

Dreckly: Soon. "He'll be along dreckly."

Everhoo: Another baffling Southernism - a reverse contraction of whoever." Everhoo one of you kids wants to go to the movie better clean up their room."

Fetchin': Attractive. "That's a mighty fetchin' woman. Think I'll ask her to daints."

Fummeer: A place other than one's present location. "Where do we go fummeer?"

Got a good notion: A statement of intent. "Ah got a good notion to cut a switch and whale the far out of that boy."

Hush yo' mouth: An expression of pleased embarrassment, as when a Southern female is paid an extravagant compliment. "Honey, you're 'bout the sweetest, best-lookin' woman in Arkansas. Now hush yo' mouth, Jim Bob."

Ill: Angry, testy. "What's wrong with Molly today? She's ill as a hornet."

Jack-leg: Self taught, especially in reference to automobile mechanics and clergy-men. "He's just a jack-leg preacher, but he sure knows how to put out the hellfire and brimstone."

Kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on: A colorful Southern expression used as as evaluation of someone's ability to accomplish something. "He ain't got no more chance than a kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on."

Layin' up: Resting or meditating. Or as Southern women usually put it, loafing. "Cecil didn't go to work today 'cause of a chronic case of laziness. He's been layin' up in the house all day, drivin' me crazy."

Let alone: Much less. "He can't even hold a job and support himself, let alone support a family."

Let out: Dismissed. "What time does school let out?"

Mind to: To have the intention of doing something. "Ah got a mind to quit my job and just loaf for a while."

Nekkid: To be unclothed. "Did you see her in that movie? She was nekkid as a jaybird." (Note: Has any one ever actually saw a jaybird nude?)

Of a moanin: Of a morning, meaning in the morning. "My daddy always liked his coffee of a moanin."

Ownliest: The only one. "That's the ownliest one Ah've got left."

Raut: A method of getting from one place to another which Southerners pronounce to rhyme with "kraut". Yankees, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, pronounce "route" to rhyme with "root". Or worse still, "foot."

Restrunt: A place to eat. "New Yorker's got a lot of good restrunts."

Shainteer: Indicates the absence of a female. "Is the lady of the house in?" "Nope. Shainteer."

Shudenoughta: Should not. "You shudenoughta have another drink."

Take on: To behave in a highly emotional manner. "Don't take on like that, Brenda Sue. He's not the only man in Lee County."

That ole dawg won't hunt no more: That will not work. "You want to borrow $20 when you still owe me fifty? That ole dawg won't hunt no more."

Wear out: An expression used to describe a highly-effective method of behavior modification in children. "When Ah get ahold of that boy, Ah'm gonna wear him out."

Wender: A glass-covered opening in a wawl. "Open that wender, It's too hot in here."

Let down/up: Used in conjuction with Wender to indicate raising or lowering of a window.

Fell out: Surprise or dismay. " I got to the house and it was all cleaned up. I about fell out!"

Hotter than two foxes f*#&ing in a wool sock: Description of extremely warm weather.

Grinning like a possum eating grapes: For a scavenger accustomed to a diet of bugs, slugs, and roadkill, having juicy grapes to gorge on is like winning the lottery.

She was madder than a wet hen: Hens sometimes enter a phase of “broodiness” — they'll stop at nothing to incubate their eggs and get agitated when farmers try to collect them. Farmers used to dunk hens in cold water to “break” their broodiness.

He could eat corn through a picket fence: This describes someone with an unfortunate set of buck teeth.

These don't really need any explanation ( I don't think):

Busier than a cat trying to cover crap on concrete.

He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.

She could start an argument in an empty house.

He'd argue with a fence post he put up himself.

He's as windy as a sack full of farts.

I'm sweatin' like a whore in church.

He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.

He's so full of sh-- his eyes are brown.

He don't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

He ain't got the good sense God gave a goose.

He didn't know whether to sh-- or go blind.

That stinks so bad it could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.

Put wishes in one hand and sh-- in the other and see which one fills up first.

He doesn't know whether to check his ass or scratch his watch.

I gotta piss so bad my eyeballs are floatin'.

He's about as useless as a bent d--- dog.

He couldn't find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight.

I'm busier than a 2-dollar whore on nickel night.

He's crazier than a sh--house rat. (If you ever have the misfortune of meeting a rat who lives in an outhouse, you'll immediately understand this one.)

She's hot as a 2 dollar pistol.

He's slicker than snot on a glass door knob.

He could fall into a barrel of sh-- and come out smelling like roses. Me on the other hand, I could fall into a barrel of ti--ies and come out suckin' my thumb.

She's got her panties in a wad.

He's meaner than a one-eyed snake.

He's lower than a whale turd.

I'm so poor I can't afford to pay attention.

Quieter than a church mouse peeing on a cotton ball.

He's so tight he squeaks when he walks.

 Those pants are so tight...I could see her religion.

It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.

It’s drier than a popcorn fart.

Won't hit a lick at a snake.

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!

If his lips's movin', he's lyin'.

If that boy had an idea it would die of loneliness.

The porch light's on, but no one's home.

His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.

He don't know s**t from shinola.


As you can see there are Southern expressions for every occasion. Whatever the situation, there is something to describe it in a way only us folks from the South can. This by no means even close to a complete list. Everyone has certain ones they've heard that is not included here. This is just a "smidgen".


I have to include these videos in this section. Southern ladies have their own set of phrases, that when said by a Southern lady, ex hues an ambiance unlike any other.