Being From L.A.

 I'm not sure there is any other place in the world where I feel more comfortable. Some would say it's because I was born and raised here. I don't think so. I've seen people who moved to here and they have commented on the fact that life is so much simpler. So much more laid back (except during Christmas). They "know" where they are. Then I remind them they're at The Wal-Mart.

 Here's a few things that I believe are true:

  Growing up Southern is a privilege, really. It's more than where you're born, it's an idea and state of
mind that seems imparted at birth. It's more than loving fried chicken, sweet tea, and football. It's being hospitable, devoted to front porches, magnolias, moon pies and coca-cola... and
each other. 

 In the South, the breeze blows softer... neighbors are friendlier, nosier, and more talkative. Our way of thinking is different, as are our ways of seeing, laughing, singing, eating, meeting, and partying. Our walk is different. Nothing about us is quite the same as in the country to the north and west. What we carry in our memories is different, too and that may explain everything else.

Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy...If something intolerable simply cannot be
changed, driven away or shot they will not only tolerate it but take pride in it as well.

The biggest myth about Southern women is that that they are frail types--fainting on their sofas. Nobody where
I grew up every acted like that. They were about as fragile as log trucks.

Snow in the South is wonderful. It has a kind of magic and mystery that it has nowhere else. And the
reason for this is that it comes to people in the South not as the grim, unyielding tenant of Winter's
keep, but as a strange and wild visitor from the North.

South Arkansas folks know their religion. Baptist, Methodist, Football.

South Arkansas women knows full and well that she can open a door for herself but prefers for the
gentleman to do it because it demonstrates a sense of respect. After all, every girl wants to be treated
like a princess. They know how to make fried baloney and chicken fried steaks while telling you everything about any football team in the SEC. They pick their battles and fight with the heart of a pit bull while still maintaining grace and elegance. Their mystique is that of a soft-spoken, mild-mannered southern bell who could direct an army, loves her momma and will always be daddy's little girl.

South Arkansas men are playful, silly, and downright funny. You'll never meet another man who takes his manhood as seriously, and who can do all sorts of very manly things that you've never seen before like hunt a wild hog and gut it before your very eyes, build a house, grill a deer, and have time to wipe the sweat off their burly chests to give you some proper loving. They are some of the most manly men that our country has to offer. (yeah, I couldn't resist the burly chest and proper loving reference) 

Most South Arkansas boys were raised by sensible women and had a manly daddy. They are extremely polite and kind.

Now let's get on the subject of South Arkansas men. We'll get back to the women in a minute.

There seems to be a dilution of what we are. I don't know if it's because of folks moving here from other areas, or the lack of a strong mother/father presence, or what, but I'm starting to see a "chink" in the armor. I know the way I was brought up. I think we are not imposing these same thoughts into our younger generation like the way it was on us. It should be and go without saying, but maybe it needs to be said and demanded.

"Southern Men, regardless of class or race, are well dressed. That being said, they don't have have the swarthy coolness of New Yorkers (gag) or the funky fun types that the North has to offer (hurl), but they will look nice, clean and respectable". I saw this on some internet site.

I will be "old fashioned" and treat you as if you're made of glass and don't have a muscle in your arms or legs. I will open doors, smile at everything you say, pull out your chair, and get up if you get up from your chair. South Arkansas Men should be charming to a fault.

Why is that so hard?

Here are a few things that we as South Arkansas men don't particularly care for in relation to our lady friends:

Don't Spray Tan - We live in the South, if you cannot tan effectively, then for goodness sake go pale and do not walk around looking like Snooki.

No Caked On Makeup - Newsflash: if he's really into you he doesn't want you wearing a lot of makeup. Natural skin is better so give up the pageant face.

No Red Lips - Most men cannot stand red lips. Whoever perpetuated this beauty trend must be a woman, because just like foundation when it comes to lips men like a more natural look.

Don't Dis His Family - South Arkansas men love their moms and they are very protective of their family. Have respect for him and his family to not put them down. Family is something that should be important because it is a gift to have a loving family. Building a family of one's own is also important and deserves the same respect.

Don't Wear False Eyelashes

Forget The Queen B Attitude - South Arkansas men love strong women, they were most likely bred by one, but strong doesn't mean acting like a Queen 'B'.

Keep The Volume Down, He Doesn't Want A Girl Who Takes It To 11 - Men are well aware you can scream, yell, and shriek. South Arkansas men like soft voices. Not soft as in a whisper, but just a pleasant, calming voice that doesn't have to achieve a decibel above a fire engine to get attention or make a point.

Stop Talking About Your Weight - We Love You. Hell, we ain't no beauty either. You're just stressing yourself out even more. 

 Don't Get Your Feelings Hurt All The Time - A woman who always finds herself getting her feelings hurt isn't a sweet, sensitive girl - she's selfish. South Arkansas men say 'grow up', learn to have some grit, and realize that not everything is about you. Sometimes a man is going to want to do something you do not want to do and sometimes he's not going to consider your feelings before doing something he wants to do - it doesn't mean he doesn't love you and care for you.

Stop With The Gossip - He doesn't find it cool that you sit around talking badly about other women, in fact he most likely looks at you like you are jealous and mean.

I'm sure you ladies have a laundry list of things you do not like about your men. Laundry is probably one of them.



Next: I'm done with generalities. Time for some storytelling...Time to hide the small animals.